HYPERtext, whose hilarious subtitle reads: “Helping people lose an hour since 2010,” has posted the beginning of Humboldt: Or, The Power of Positive Thinking.
How Humboldt was brought up on a beautiful farm in Ohio & how he was driven away
Once upon a time in Winesburg, Ohio, there lived a young boy on whom nature had bestowed the gifts of a gentle disposition, solid judgment, and complete openness of mind. Because of these gifts, the boy was called Humboldt, or so many people around Winesburg thought. Others speculated that the boy was called Humboldt after Humboldt County. The boy himself believed that he was called Humboldt after Humboldt County until the day he discovered that of all of Ohio’s eighty-eight counties not a single one was named Humboldt. Had he been named after a county, it was more likely that he would have been named Holmes or Wayne. There was even a slight chance that he would have been named Tuscarawas Tim. Humboldt was glad that he was Humboldt and not any of these other people. He was particularly glad that he was not Tuscarawas Tim, as he was aware that the ancient Indian word Tuscarawas meant “open mouth.” Humboldt was as far from being an emptyminded openmouthed blabberboy as he was from Humboldt County, California.
Here’s a link for the rest of the excerpt: